Thursday, June 22, 2006

June 20 - A Whizzinator Win

We are now a .500 team (1-1) for the first time in the history of this alcoholic team.
Got 17 minutes to spare? Here's a video from the 6th and 7th innings of our first win of the summer season:
A Whizzinator Win
For your convenience, here are some timestamped highlights on the video:
0:00-0:43 - The first two outs, have to wait awhile for the third
0:43-1:20 – Yien gets in trouble for swearing
3:41 - Misplayed grounder by an old man
4:05-4:15 - Foul pop scares little girl on the bench (not Yien)
4:15-4:30 - Yien in a heated intellectual disagreement
4:30 - 3 runs score for Electric Mayhem
5:50-6:05 - Jessica finally makes out (3rd base)
7:10-7:45 - Steve at bat
7:50-8:34 - Renee at bat
8:43-8:55 - Greg at bat
9:00-10:00 - Fred's controversial at bat
10:00-10:30 - Nicki at bat
10:30-11:30 - Al at bat
11:30-11:55 - Don't ask Brandon any questions, and he'll tell you no lies
12:20 - It's the top of 7th, Brandon
13:00 - Fred can't take it anymore, so he up and leaves
13:15 - Cheerleaders for Greggy
14:00 - Nice snatch, Todd
14:35 - Mark flashes back to his days as a WR on the football team
15:13 - Jessica dives, but comes up empty-muffed
15:19 - Yien gives a lesson in softball terminology
15:44 - Game over, lots of happy faces

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Whizzinators Team Scouting Reports


Name - Position - Nickname - Scouting Report

Steve G - Pitcher - "MVP" - Most Valuable Player has turned into Maybe Verify Presence?, and has been MIA for half the team's games this season. Very conscientious about letting the appropriate people know, though, and a great team player. His bat, specifically designed for the woman athlete, is missed from the lineup.

Greg - Pitcher/OF - "Bogeyman" - Alienates teammates with general bossiness and competitive nature. Yells too much. No one has a hard time hearing what he yells (except for the multiple people who ask, "what?" right after he yells it). Claims he is just trying to have fun.



Renae - Catcher - "Ray-Nay" - Frames the strike zone well, and will get many borderline calls from the ump. Uncanny ability to hit seeing eye balls through the infield contributes to high OBP (On Base Percentage).


Nicki - 1B - "Sneaky" - On the short side at 1B (SS might be a better fit, literally). Willing to stretch to the point of uterine damage to make the out, though. Hits to the gaps, but lack of speed is an issue and will usually get thrown out trying to stretch anything into a double. Good clubhouse influence, and will try to bait the other team into fights if calls do not go her way.

Mark - 2b - "Coach" - Team leader who leads by example. Solid fielder who has made the most improvement since rookie season. Excellent taste in beer.







Jessica - 3B - "Smokin'!" - Slick fielder, willing to sacrifice body to make the diving play. Hair sometimes gets in the way of throws to first. Multiple male cheerleading posse always comes to watch her in action.






Todd - SS - "Mick" - Exclusive pull hitter, who can lace the left field line. Tells good jokes to keep teammates loose. ERA is above 49.00.





Kelly - OF - "Kelly 1" - Good things come in small packages. Nice arm. Will not put up with any bull, unless it's on her baseball cap.





Steve W - OF - "Muscleman" - Has a special bat that no one else dares to use (it probably weighs a ton - or it just looks really old). Likes to create havoc on the basepaths.




Brandon - OF - "#%&*@!" - Special divining glove immediately seeks out the ball right after it is hit, whether on the ground or in the air. Outfielder with unparalleled stamina. After games, will often go for long runs on the beach in the moonlight…by himself. Bears absolutely no resemblance to his alcoholic twin (one of them must have been found on the doorstep, but it's impossible to guess which one).

Al - OF - "Twinkletoes" - Ballet lessons from youth come in handy while making acrobatic catches in the field.







Matteo - OF - "Baffanculo!" - Right arm is a howitzer cannon. 5 tool player.

Marcia - Utility - "My Favorite Marcia" - Lively arm - glovebreaker. Plays with intensity matched by few. Teammates often tell her, "nice snatch!"






Yien - Utility - "Scammer" - Intimidating presence often makes him a target for opposing pitchers, and he frequently needs to bail out of the batters box to avoid getting hit by pitches. Batting style best described as "tomahawk chop." Has no peers in the alcohol tolerance department. Might conceivably play better drunk. Good at making sucker bets and likes to ride piggyback.